Hillary, Hillary, Hillary! Tuesday night in the hall.

Like last night, the first few hours were — I hate to admit it — pretty boring. It looks like things seldom pick up at these conventions until the last hour or so. Also, for the love of God, before I forget: The music here sounds like it’s being played by that cheese-tastic band from Dancing with the Stars. Nothing gets me jazzed up quite like a glorified karaoke version of “I’m so Excited.”

That brings me to a point, though. With all the famous folks in Denver this week —Oprah Winfrey, Anne Hathaway, Susan Sarandon, to name a few, and let’s not even START on all the famous bands — why can’t we get some star power on the DNC stage? Something tells me the crowd would get a little more jazzed up if the DNCC replaced just a couple City Clerks of Bumble**** with someone we’ve heard of. (Not saying we should replace everyone. I love the everyman and everywoman voices, but I also like it when the convention hall doesn’t remind me of a morgue.)

Now, that’s off my chest. On to tonight’s events…

It’s implicitly sexist to mention what female politicians look like and wear, since their male counterparts seldom receive such scrutiny…but I don’t care. Kathleen Sebelius, Governor of my home state, Kansas, looked like a goddess in her red power suit. I don’t even know how old she is, but I’ve devised a theory, She’s either captured the elixer of life, or she’s a vampire: frozen in time, incapable of aging and always looking absolutely fabulous.

It’s too bad that when it comes to speaking, Sebelius is no Obama. Otherwise, with her post-partisan politics, poise and general judgment, she’d make a hell of a presidential candidate. Unfortunately, I’ve got to admit, John Stewart had it right when he commented on her response to Bush’s last State of the Union Address:

“Hmm. Flat and boring…what state is she from again?”

However, Sebelius had one moment of unadulterated brilliance, and it’s one of my sound bytes of the day:

“I’m sure you’ve heard that girl from Kansas say, ‘There’s no place like home.’ Well, In John McCain’s case, there’s no place like home, or a home, or a home, or a home…”

Oh, Kathleen. When I grow up, I want to be you.

Keynote speaker, Governor Mark Robert Warner of Virginia, was unremarkable. (Sebelius, part deux?) I’m starting to think the Democrats are trying to lose this thing. The speechwriter gets props for clever lines, though. Some collectible sound bytes included “In four months, we’ll have an administration that believes in science” and “If an idea works, it doesn’t matter if there’s a ‘D’ or an ‘R’ next to it,” but Warner earns about a “C” grade on delivery.

As for everyone who came after Warner, with the exception of a decent speech from Massachusettes Governor Deval Patrick and a fantastic speech (finally!) from Montana Governor Barry Schweitzer (who'll probably be remembered as tonight's real keynote speaker)….

Fhhhhhhhhhhrgvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv8599ph y8t99999999999999999999999.

Oh. I’m sorry. I just fell asleep on the keyboard.

Enough teasing. Schweitzer and Patrick: great. Everyone else: dull. Now, here’s my convention observer’s perspective on Hillary Clinton’s speech.

First of all: Standing. Room. Only. You could scarcely see a single scrap of blue carpet on the convention floor. Apparently, folks were “borrowing” credentials from friends who’d already been admitted it and taking them to friends outside.

Hillary’s tribute video was enough to induce chills down the spine and tears in the eyes of even the most die-hard Obama supporter. I should know. And when Chelsea welcomed her to the stage, she was greeted with the kind of applause worthy of a presidential candidate.

Within a few, brief sentences, she introduced herself as a proud supporter of Barack Obama, following with a message of unity as a “single party with a single purpose.”

“This is a fight for the future,” she continued. “And it’s a fight we must win together.”

I know there were nay-sayers — folks who’d feared Hillary would come out swinging, but I firmly believe that Hillary Clinton is and always has been a woman of class. This is a woman who honestly wants what she believes is best for her country. Of course, she believed she’d be the best president; if she didn’t, she damned well shouldn’t have run. But tonight, she made it clear that her goal has evolved alongside the circumstances. Her task, now, is to make sure this party can fuse back together after a splintering primary. And I think tonight was a tremendous step in the healing process.

If the delegates and convention-goers offer any indication, I predict Hillary’s speech will result in a huge bump in the polls for Obama — particularly among Hillary’s supporters. The mood in the convention hall was one of the most awe-inspiring vibes I’ve ever experienced. Tonight was a night for the Democratic Party’s history books. This was an electric night with an electric speech.

Hillary (aided, slightly, by Schweitzer and Patrick) almost single-handedly lifted this night of the convention from a dull, blasé, “D”-grade evening to an A+.

Nice work, Hil.